


Were the World Jon's

by JessicaMDawn



Category: Were the World Mine (2008)
Genre: M/M, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, alternate POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-05
Updated: 2010-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaMDawn/pseuds/JessicaMDawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything changes with a different Point of View. 'My name is Jonathon Cordon. I've never felt like this about anyone. I was in love with Timothy!' Were the World Mine from Jon's POV. 'I opened my eyes and saw him there, fairy wings and all, and thought him beautiful.' "But I fell in love with you, today."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, about all the dialogue taken from the movie in this story. Most of it I'm pretty sure about, but some bits I had to guess on because my dvd DOESN'T HAVE SUBTITLES. Grrr. Seriously, it's one of the most unhelpful DVDs I own, and I own quite a few. In any case, please forgive me if something seems odd or if you heard the line differently or whatever. I did my best with what I had.

My name is Jonathon Cordon.

Most people know me as the star rugby player at Morgan Hill. Morgan Hill is a prestigious academy, and by prestigious I mean that it takes a whole lot of money to get enrolled there. Also, you have to be a boy. Which was all good and well, unless you were gay, like me.

I was pretty much flawless at hiding it from the world, even myself, so no one suspected a thing. I was captain of a rugby team, had a lot of money, near perfect grades, and a girlfriend that I kissed every time I saw her. My life was pretty much set that way and I had almost completely convinced myself that I liked my girlfriend as much as everyone else thought I did when my world got flipped upside down.

One day, a week into term, a new kid showed up in class. He wasn't actually new, because he'd been on the roster since day one, but it was the first day he showed up to class so he was considered new by all the other guys in school. I met him in gym class first. At first I didn't even notice that anyone new was in the class, and then I turned around in the locker room and my face met with his chin. He let out this odd yelp and backed off, fell over the bench between the rows of lockers, and hit his head against the lockers on the other side before landing in a probably aching heap on the ground and holding his head.

"Ow," he murmured and opened one eye to look up at me. "Sorry. My bad." Then both his eyes opened and he let go of his head and simply stared at me as I stared back. He seemed to have randomly started daydreaming and I couldn't blame him for it, because my mind wasn't really working either.

His ridiculous maroon colored gym shirt was riding up and the muscles in his lower stomach were showing. Now, I've been working out for awhile to be a great rugby player, so my muscles were much more impressive than his, but for some reason I felt the greatest desire to reach out and map out those muscles in grand detail.

"Alright, warriors, let's go, let's go!" Coach Driskill yelled out from somewhere beyond my sight and I came back to myself.

"You alright?" I asked, and thanked God that my voice was normal.

He nodded and gave a faint smile. "Yea. Just a bump. I'll be fine."

I moved so my legs were pressed against the bench and held my hand out to him, but before he could take it, Cole slammed his locker shut and grabbed me by the wrist, yanking me towards the door to the gym.

"Watch yourself, Cordon," he warned like I was some stupid child. "He'll rub off on you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pulling my arm back and stopping just in sight of the new kid, who was starting to pull himself up using the bench.

"He's a fag," Cole said with a shudder and a voice laced in poison. I saw the new kid freeze mid-stand from the corner of my eye. "Now let's go."

Without waiting for permission, Cole grabbed me by the wrist and finished pulling me from the locker room. Had I been braver, I may have stopped him and told him I was gay too, and what was wrong with that? As it was, I stayed silent to save my own skin.

…

…

Three weeks later I found some guys from our school behind the storage room beating the new kid, whose name I learned was Timothy, up and throwing his stuff all over the place. I couldn't understand it. I mean, I understood why the guys were beating him up and tormenting him, it was how certain people responded to something that frightened them or threatened them. What I didn't understand was why Timothy wasn't fighting back. He was taller than anyone else in school and he wasn't weak (if his stomach muscles meant anything), so why was he just letting them hit him?

"Hey!" I yelled, unable to just stand by and watch at they continued to hit him. They sort of jumped and dropped Timothy's stuff, and Timothy, and ran. I scoffed and moved to help Timothy collect his things, but he was super fast and had already grabbed and stuffed everything messily into his bag by the time I'd taken one step. "You alright?" I asked, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

"I'm fine," he said, sounding a bit defeated and keeping his head down. "It's nothing I wasn't expecting. Don't worry about it." Then, without even looking at me, he turned and sauntered off.

It wasn't until the next day that I realized he may have kept his head down because of the black and purple bruise across his left cheek and his split bottom lip. I wondered if he had any more bruises under his clothes that he was hiding, but I couldn't find the courage to ask.

…

…

Every time I saw Timothy after that, he seemed to grow more and more quiet. He rarely raised his head from staring at the floor and he randomly seemed to go off somewhere, something similar to daydreams like I'd seen the day I first met him. I was completely enthralled by the contradiction in his mannerisms and the intense look in his eyes. There was something there, inside, that was just waiting to be let loose. A part of me couldn't wait for that day to come.

I dreamt about him. I dreamt we sat and held hands for hours and ate lunch together and no one cared. And I dreamt we kissed. I kissed him so many times in my dreams that sometimes I got scared that I was actually awake and had only thought I was dreaming and had kissed him in broad daylight in front of all of Morgan Hill. Sometimes we were chaste and wanton with our kisses, and sometimes we kissed like they were the very air we breathed and if we stopped we would die, desperate and passionate. I don't remember it ever going beyond kissing. That was probably because I'd barely caught any sight of the body underneath those clothes and my mind either could not or simply would not fill in the blank spaces for me. It was both a comforting and aggravating thought.

…

…

It seemed every time we had gym class, Timothy got hurt. Golf, basketball, baseball, dodgeball – no matter what they did in class, everyone seemed to aim for him. It didn't help matters that some crack about his sexuality was made every four seconds. It was pissing me off because I knew that one slip up and they'd be saying the same shit about me and it wasn't fair. And I was too cowardly to say anything to stop them.

We were playing dodgeball the day everything started to change. Or at least, it was the day I noted that something clicked and things changed. Timothy, for once in a blue moon, had made a comeback statement to the crap statements thrown at him and for once the laughter wasn't directed at him, but at Cooper. The moment Timothy got hit with the dodge ball, Coach Driskill called time and told us to get ready to leave. I'd noticed that was a trend of his, to wait until Tim got hit or hurt in some way before letting us leave for the day. I think that's called discrimination, people, and it's wrong.

In the locker room, I moved as slow in changing my clothes as I could without being suspicious in the hopes that I'd catch Timothy alone once everyone else was gone. It was the only time I got up any courage to talk to him, which was embarrassing. He reached into his locker for a towel while taunts were thrown around him and the only back talk he gave them was a simple 'My name is Timothy.' How could he stand it?

Then we were alone and I turned to face him. A few seconds later and he hadn't really moved, simply holding the towel in his hands in front of him. "Need some ice?" I asked, trying to sound sincere in my offer.

"I can handle it," he responded almost bitterly.

It hurt. I couldn't explain it, but Timothy's apathy hurt me. I really wanted to help him, but I couldn't do it in front of the other guys. I couldn't tell Timothy that either, because I was afraid. If I told him that I cared about him, and that I wanted to be his friend, it would never work out. We could never hang out or go anywhere together because of the taunting, and if my feelings developed any further than simply being ok with the dreams then I'd be hard put not to reveal myself to him and then…what if he wanted to go public and do PDA? I couldn't do it. I was too used to the fame-like status my captain's spot had given me and I wasn't ready to give it up. Not even for Tim. No matter how much I wanted to.

I didn't want to hurt him….so I kept a certain amount of distance between us. Because I think I was already starting to fall for him then, before I knew anything about him.

…

…

I think he missed the entirety of Ms. Tebbit's class. He stopped reciting the words she said like the rest of us and the one time I glanced back at him, he was staring at the front of the class in a daze.

Now I say this was the day things began to change because this was the day that Ms. Tebbit told us the senior play was A Midsummer Night's Dream and that we all had to audition on Friday before rugby practice could start. I panicked. If I got cast as a girl, it'd be all over for me. If I got cast as a guy who was supposed to act like he was in love with a girl played by a guy, it'd pretty much be over for me anyway! Any one suspicion and my life would be over!

But that wasn't until Friday, and I forced myself to not think about it until then. If I started screwing up in rugby, that would only cause more damage to me later if they found out I was gay. My girlfriend showed up to watch us practice that afternoon. I never could figure out how she managed to get here from her own school so fast. I think she was skipping her last class, but I never asked. It didn't really matter to me all that much. Like she didn't matter all that much.

Today I glanced over at the bleachers, something I made a habit of doing when she was watching, and saw Timothy instead. I called time and hurried over to the bleachers, to my girlfriend, to see if it was really Timothy hiding behind the bleachers. It was. The holes were so large between seats that he was in plain sight. After a quick glance his way, I leaned in to give a complementary kiss to Becky and immediately regretted it when Timothy walked away.

"Hey," Becky nearly whispered. "Looking good."

"You like watching us out there?" I asked, hooking my arms around the bars of the bleachers.

"I love watching you play," she emphasized quietly.

I laughed and it was almost a scoff. "Yea, I bet you do." It was almost sarcastic and I bit my tongue to stop myself from getting angry at her. It was my fault if I was pushing Timothy away in some way.

…

…

Friday came around too fast for me and I tried to be the first one in the audition room so I could be the first one done. I was. Thus I was also the first person dressed out for rugby and sitting by the auditorium doors waiting for the auditions to be over. I listened to all the other guys auditioning and realized with horror that I should've flubbed the audition, but I'd done too well and I was bound to get a good, important role with a lot of stage time.

I was so frightened by this fact that I forgot that Timothy was going to be auditioning too. I didn't recognize the voice coming through the door when he began to sing. I think maybe, if I'd heard him speak a bit more, I would have, but maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. I heard Ms. Tebbit singing and sighed. I'd heard her teach the song to like…twelve people already. It was getting old, so I blocked her out. Then someone, I was too bored to realize who it was, asked who was singing and I looked through the crack in the door and forgot to breathe.

I don't think I'd ever thought of anyone as beautiful until then. But he was. His voice was. I turned away from the door and closed my eyes, feigning the same boredom I'd had only moments before as I tried to catch my breath. His voice washed over me in waves and I kept seeing the little smile he gave me the first time we met, before he'd been bullied into submission. Suddenly, I was overcome by the desire to see him smile, really smile. I could just imagine what he'd look like wearing a full blown smile, and it made my chest hurt my heart beat so fast.

I didn't do my best at practice that afternoon, to say the least.

…

…

That night, he sang me to sleep and we had a long conversation in my dreams that was mostly me listening to the sound of his voice: a deep rumble, but warm and kind, with a sad tinge to it.

…

…

Monday, Ms. Tebbit announced that the cast list would be posted on the auditorium doors after school. I'd never changed into my rugby uniform so fast. I ran up the stairs towards the auditorium and froze halfway up. Timothy was standing in front of the doors, just staring at the cast list, not moving. I walked slowly and quietly up to the doors until I was standing next to him, and when I saw his face, I could tell he wasn't all there. His mind was somewhere else right now, like usual.

I smiled at how cute I found his daydreaming and then mentally shook myself. Someone could come along any moment now and it wouldn't do to see me staring at Timothy with some goofy smile painted on my face. But…we were alone at the moment, weren't we? This was my chance to talk to him! To tell him I thought his voice was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard in my life. But how to go about getting his attention and start up the conversation? I was a jock. I had no reason to talk to him.

I looked at the cast list. My name was right beneath his. Aw. Wait. I'm a guy. I don't have stupidly girly thoughts like that! Ah. Wait a minute!

I lifted my arm up until I could land it on Timothy's shoulder (which was higher than I expected it to be. It's amazing I wasn't embarrassed about being shorter than him.) and smiled generously at him when he startled back to the real world and looked over at me.

"Looks like I'm one of the lovers," I announced simply.

Timothy didn't seem to know what to say to me and the moment he opened his mouth to speak I spotted the other guys in our class rushing up the stairs behind us. I inwardly cursed and lifted my arm from Timothy's shoulder a moment before Bradley shoved past me to see the cast list. I stood back and waited, hoping I could talk to Timothy once they were gone. One sentence of conversation wasn't enough for me.

"I'm not shaving," Bradley protested.

"At least you're not the jackass," Ian tried in consolation.

"At least the jackass doesn't have to wear a dress," Bradley whined as he turned and walked away.

Ian stared at the list as other guys came and went and his face took on something akin to concern. "What is Thisbe?" he looked around and noticed all the others, Bradley included, had left. Running after them he called, "Is that a chick?"

When everyone else was gone, Timothy and I took a simultaneous step forward as he looked at the list. He was Puck. I supposed it fit. He was known to be a fairy, and he was tall and thin, and he had a great voice. I refused to admit I'd read the play over the weekend, but I had and Puck seemed like a pretty pivotal character…so it was good that Timothy got the role.

"Congratulations, gentlemen," Ms. Tebbit said suddenly and we both turned to look at her. "Awaken and empower what's within," she announced in that cryptic way of hers. What did that even mean?

Timothy let out a breath and glanced at me before leaving down the stairs. I had to stop him! I hadn't said anything yet! How…how do you announce you like someone's voice without openly announcing you like them? Um…Um…!

"Nice pipes!" I called out and he stopped and turned around. Ok. Don't chicken out now, Jonathon Cordon. Tell him you- "I heard your audition." I'm such a coward. I fumbled for the door handle and vanished inside the auditorium before I could beat myself over the head for my stupidity.

…

…

I saw him come to school the next morning on a bike instead of the bus. Well, that was useful information. He lived close enough to ride a bike. I could-

What was I thinking? What am I going to do, stalk him home or something? God, Jon, pull yourself together man! I pressed my fists into my eyes for a few seconds and held my breath until I felt like I'd pass out, then took a deep breath and lowered my hands. Together. Together. You can do this.

…

…

Ms. Tebbit's class that day was a rundown of the play's accessories; the stage and costuming and music. I was feeling a bit unbalanced and was looking for anything to make myself feel better. My costume looked cool enough. Timothy's looked better. Bradley complained about his costume, (" _Where's the rest?_ ") and if Dr. Bellinger hadn't walked in, I would've probably yelled 'It's a dress, moron. There is no more!'

"These are for the Pyrmus and Thisbee finale, which I have reinvented as an incredibly hip song," Ms. Tebbit announced.

"That's hot, Ms. T," I said loudly, louder than I'd meant to. I was trying to sound interested, not overly excited!

"Shakespeare _was_ meant for the masses," she agreed, but no one had laughed or anything, so it was still embarrassing.

I glanced back at Timothy and felt myself beginning to blush when I realized he was looking at me too, so I quickly faced forward again and looked at my desk instead. God, I must've sounded so stupid to him!

It took all my self control not to lay my head down and cover it with my arms in shame.

…

…

The next day in class, Ms. Tebbit handed out copies of A Midsummer Night's Dream and we had to read it in our parts.

"Either I mistake your shape and making quite or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Robin Goodfellow: are not you he that frights the maidens of the village…ry?" Cooper read blandly.

"Thou speak'st aright; I am that merry wanderer of the night," Timothy said in response. It was read too fast in my opinion, but it was just the first class reading. Besides, I was listening more to the voice and not the words. "I jest to Oberon and make him smile."

Me too.

…

…

We played basketball a few days later and Timothy, surprisingly, didn't get hurt. He actually shot a basket himself. He didn't move fast or anything, and no one really tried to stop him, probably because they thought he'd be an easy target to stop. But he simply lined up the shot and landed the ball in the hoop with almost no net easily. The smallest of smiles graced his face at the accomplishment, even as everyone was already heading to the other side of the court to try and land a shot in the other hoop.

That kinda turned me on. And it gave me enough courage to actually _pat him on the butt_ and say "Nice form," before hurrying back into the game.

Dear god, did I just _flirt?_ In a crowded room? Maybe I could do this after all.

Timothy ended up on his back about five seconds later when Cole started barreling back towards the hoop on that side and didn't see him. The best part? Cole just stepped on him, right on the chest, and kept going. The next best part? Coach called time and told us to go to the showers and never once asked if Timothy was alright. Sometimes I hated my school mates.

I knelt by him as he held his hands across his lower chest and kept his eyes shut and simply breathed. "You ok?" I asked, trying not to let too much of my worry slip into my words.

"Yea," he coughed out. "I got it. I'll be fine."

"You can breathe alright?" I persisted, not quite believing him. He even sounded wounded. He nodded and opened his eyes a bit to look up at me and I sort of lost the air in my lungs. "Good," I breathed out before taking a deep breath and clearing my throat. "I mean, I'd hate to not hear Puck's final song in the play." I was attempting it to sound like a joke, but I failed miserably and sounded simply sincere.

He gave me a curious look and let his arms fall from his chest. I must've been as red as a tomato I felt so foolish. I cleared my throat again and stood up, not offering to help him, and scurried like a dog with its tail between its legs to the locker room.

…

…

"This play is a complete waste of time!"

I sighed silently into my mashed potatoes. My father kept bringing up his opinion on Ms. Tebbit's play every chance he got. It was like he expected me to be able to weedle out of it or something.

"Darling," my mother tried quietly and motioned to the food on the table between us. She sat at one end, to my right, while my father sat at the other end to my left. My youngest sister, age six, sat next to me on my mother's side and my oldest younger sister, age fourteen, sat directly across from me.

"I'm serious!" my father raged on. "The boys shouldn't be acting in plays like sissies! They should be out doing more manly things, like rugby!"

"Honey, acting is a perfectly respectable past time that men have been doing for centuries," mother explained gently. "And it's just one senior play."

"That's not the point!" He stabbed his steak harshly and held it up as he spoke. "I just don't want anyone thinking that my son is a…a-"

"Jon!" Hannah piped up from next to me. I gave her a smile to show she could say what she wanted, even though father looked aghast. "Are you playing a girl in the play?" she asked happily, bouncing in her seat.

I laughed once at how cute she was and ignored the seething I could feel behind me. Taking Hannah's hands in my own, I shook my head. "No. I'm playing a man who gets tricked into thinking he's in love with a girl he really isn't in love with."

"Are you cool, Jon?" she continued cutely, a beaming smile on her face.

"Uhuh. Super cool," I supplied and she looked so happy and proud of me that I couldn't stop the beaming smile coming to my own face. "Now, eat your dinner."

I turned back to my food only once she had and kept the smile on my face as I ate, not able to stop myself at all. I looked across the table and saw Hayley giving me a curious look. My smile faded and I gave her a curious look in return, but she averted her eyes and went back to eating her food.

What was that all about?

…

…

The set was coming together nicely the next day, a Wednesday, and so Ms. Tebbit decided we should practice laying out the scenes in practice on the stage that day. Russ was still stumbling over his words, but Timothy sounded like he could probably read them without the book as reference. He was right in front of me all practice, or sitting next to me when he wasn't in a scene. I never even spoke a word to him, and we never made eye contact, but the atmosphere around me felt charged.

I've never felt like this about anyone. It kind of scares me because I'm not sure how much longer I can hide it. From him and from the world.


	2. Chapter 2

I saw him a moment before it happened, dressed in purple and white and looking more upset than I'd seen him ever look.

"Who did it?" he demanded, throwing his bag down. Practice skid to a halt as everyone turned to look at him.

"Oh look who just flew in from fairyland!" Cole taunted.

"Was it you?" Timothy asked, turning to look at Cooper.

"Hey bud, calm down!" Cooper taunted back. I didn't understand the sick pleasure these guys got from tormenting him. Couldn't they tell it was killing him?

"Who did it?" Timothy yelled.

I put my hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him away. "Let's walk," I offered calmly and quietly. I didn't know what they'd done, but I would definitely find out and I'd punish them for it any way I could. But right now, Timothy needed someone to help him calm down. He looked about to break.

I don't know what happened, but suddenly Timothy moved around my hand and shoved Cole back, seething. Everything moved so fast after that. Timothy was shoved to the ground and Cole jumped on him. In Timothy's defense, Cole never landed a blow because he was able to keep him busy by trying to push Cole off, but he probably would've lost a long term fight – if only because he decided to stop fighting part way through, which is what he did in this fight, actually. He flipped over and tried to get away from Cole, but Cole wrapped his arms around Timothy's torso and yanked him to his feet.

"Hey look guys, I caught a fairy!"

I saw red for a minute. People were jeering and cheering and I couldn't hear a word of it as I grabbed Cole and tore him off Timothy. I think someone intervening killed all the fight in him, because Cole didn't try to get back in the fight. I could tell he still wanted to, though.

"Get outta here," I told Timothy, knowing that the minute I let go of Cole, he might try something, or one of the other guys would. I glared at Cole and pushed him away from me with one hand. "It's not worth it."

Not worth it to fight. I never wanted anyone to hurt him again. Never. I don't think there would ever be anything Timothy did that would make me think fighting and hurting him would be the answer. I did think it would be worth it to hurt Cole though, but I held back.

Mollified, everyone started walking away towards the locker rooms and I paused a moment to glance back at Timothy as he walked away. His over shirt was stained with grass and he looked generally defeated. He'd tried to fight his own battle and I'd intervened because he couldn't win it himself. That must've hurt him.

I'm an asshole.

Besides that, my thought process doesn't make any sense. I want to stop people from hurting him, so I stopped the fight, then I feel guilty because I stopped the fight and hurt his ego. No matter what I did I was probably going to feel stupid or guilty for it. It was a lose-lose situation and neither side was winning.

If I didn't find a winning side soon, I thought I might just go crazy.

 

…

…

Hayley knocked on my door that evening after dinner while I was memorizing my lines. I rarely read them aloud because my father was already so opposed to the idea of the play, but I could read them a hundred times over and remember them in a moment when the time came. The part I was looking at when she knocked, though, wasn't mine. It was one of Puck's lines; one of Timothy's.

'Churl, upon thy eyes I throw, All the power this charm doth owe.'

"Jonathon," Hayley said along with her knock and I jumped and shut the book with a soft snap.

"Yea, Hayley?"

She came in, shut the door behind her, and settled onto my bed. I kept my place in my desk chair next to the bed. She was acting in that funny way she did when she knew something you did and was about to blackmail you for it. I couldn't think of anything I'd done lately, but I was on guard anyway.

"Jon, you're my brother, and you know I love you, right?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at me charmingly.

"Yes," I answered cautiously. Now I worried she was asking me to do something for her that would likely end up with me in trouble later.

"Then I have something I'd like to say to you," she began, re-situating herself on the bed so she was facing me completely and could stare me in the eyes. "Jon….Dear Jon…Why oh why have you not seen fit to tell me you were gay?"

I flinched so badly I nearly fell out of my chair. I dropped my script in my hurry to grab the chair and support myself. "What?" I asked, and my mouth felt dry.

She rolled her eyes. "Jon, I'm almost fifteen. I've been living with you my whole life and you have never, ever shown interest in a girl, not even Becky." I shut my mouth from where I'd been about to point Becky out. Hayley sighed dramatically. "I had my suspicions, but then I took a walk down by your school and I happened upon a sight that made me realize I was right." She grinned. "Oh look, I just rhymed."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What 'sight' did you see, Hayley?" So far I saw no proof. Still, Hayley was cunning. She was a teenage girl after all.

"Just a certain incident where you looked like a kicked puppy." She lifted her eyes to the ceiling. She spoke like Ms. Tebbit; overly dramatic. "A tall guy came to your rugby practice, someone obviously gay, and a fight broke out between he and one of your teammates. Unable to watch, you stopped the fight and then stared as that guy walked away with a look that so expressed your love and devotion that it made my heart weep," she said dramatically, pressing a hand over her heart and falling backwards onto my bed.

"What?" I gasped out before I could catch myself. I so hope she was exaggerating. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I was jus-"

"Oh, come _on,_ Jon," Hayley interrupted exasperatedly, flinging her arms to the sides on my bed and then pushing herself up onto her elbows to glare at me. "Just admit it! It's not like I'm going to condemn you for it or anything! He's _cu~te_ , and we both know it." I leaned over and picked up my script as she continued to babble. There was nothing I could do to deny it, she already knew. "What I don't understand, fearless warrior, is why you aren't dating him yet."

"Hayley," I started in a tired voice, lifting my head to look at her pointedly. "Dad thinks it's bad enough I'm being _forced_ to be in a play and that people _might_ think I was gay. Can you imagine the backlash if I told him I actually was?" I shook my head. "More than that, what he'd do to Timothy?"

"Ooh, _Timothy,_ is it?" she cooed, moving to sit on her stomach with her chin propped up in her hands. I glared at her and she sighed, rolling her eyes. "I know you're scared of what dad'll think, and the town, and your teammates. But, Jon, if you love the guy, then does all that really matter?"

My brain died. My heart stopped. For a full twenty seconds I didn't move a muscle.

Love?

 

…

…

"Here is my bed. Sleep, give thee all his rest," I said, a little smile forming on my face.

I admit, I was having a bit too much fun making Cole feel uncomfortable after how he tormented Timothy the other day. I got way too close and made it difficult for him to push me off like the play called for.

"Sleep," Ms. Tebbit said, sounding a tiny bit cross, from the sidelines and I obediently fell back against the tree and pretended to sleep.

I barely heard Timothy's footsteps as he walked around the stage, but I could hear his voice and I watched as he walked through that sound.

"Through the forest have I gone, but Athenian found I none…on whose eyes I might approve this flower's force in stirring love." He jumped onto the raised platform and sighed. "Night and silence." A pause. "Who is here? Weeds of Athens he doth wear." I fought not to move, but knowing he was looking at me made me want to open my eyes and look back at him, and made me worry that I looked foolish or rumpled on the ground. But Timothy continued with barely a pause and I got over it. "And here the maiden, sleeping sound, on the dank and dirty ground."

Cole coughed out the word 'fag' and I clenched my fists to keep still. Could he not shut up for a few minutes while we practiced the play?

"Aw," Cole said aloud, "the fairy brought his own props," he teased cruelly.

Stay calm, Jon. Don't kill him. He's your friend.

I heard Timothy walking and forced myself to calm down. It would be just my luck for him to see me angry and think it was at him. He knelt down and I couldn't help myself. I opened my eyes and saw him there, fairy wings and all, and thought him beautiful. I'd never seen his face this close, this clear, ever. From the side or from afar, when he was upset or in pain, but never just him.

Remembering that this was practice I quickly shut my eyes and tried to act asleep. "Churl, upon thy eyes I throw….All the power…this charm doth owe," he said quietly and then something wet hit me in the face.

I gasped and squinted my eyes shut against the liquid invasion and brought my hand up to wipe it away. When the water was gone, I opened my eyes and saw Timothy there still, but there seemed to be a power about him. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was _glowing_ …or maybe that was just me. The point was, that the tingle I usually felt around him had exploded and now the desire to kiss him was overriding anything else and I suddenly didn't feel afraid of the people around us, watching us.

"Timothy?" I asked and reached for his face to bring him to my level so we could finally kiss in real life. Would he accept, or think me weird for suddenly wanting to kiss him in front of my teammates?

He smiled and let out a soft, breathy laugh and I thought my heart might burst. Did I say he was beautiful before? I must've been mistaken. With a smile, he was perfection.

Our lips were so close, I was so close to him, and then, "Ah, nasty!"

Cole! My mind barely registered the anger I felt at him when Timothy stopped and looked over at him instead, a look of barely concealed anger on his face. He jumped up and ran to Cole, throwing something on his face, and then on everyone on the stage except Ms. T, and then on Coach Driskill when he came in the auditorium. Part of me registered that everyone was suddenly kissing each other, but they were nothing compared to Timothy in my mind right now.

I stood and walked toward the edge of the stage, pulling my tie looser as I went. I felt too warm all of a sudden and all I knew was that I had a desperate need to be beside him. Why was he so far away? I jumped off the stage and took a step towards him, but he looked back at me and then ran. Why?

Suddenly I felt so sad. Why was he leaving me? Had I done something wrong? I thought he liked me too. I mean, he nearly kissed me before Cole interrupted!...and if I didn't stop thinking about Cole, I might end up killing him, so I'd better think about something else. But what else?

Timothy. What else was there but Timothy? I had to go after him. Why was I just standing there? I needed to know if he really liked me the way I liked him – no, loved. I loved him. Hayley was right! And right then, without cause or provocation, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. I was in love with Timothy!

I ran back onto the stage and found my jacket, pulled it on as best I could (I wanted to look nice for him, didn't I?) and ran out the double doors after my love. I found him only after several minutes of running, and of all the places I found him, it was on the practice field with his two friends. Bypassing the girl and boy, I wrapped my right hand around his bag strap and looked up into his eyes, suddenly not minding my height at all.

"How far I have chased you," I breathed out. "Sweet, why do you flee so fast?"

He smiled but pushed me away. "You have practice," he told me almost half-heartedly. But who cared about practice? Right now, all I needed was to be with _him,_ the one who had haunted my heart for so long but was finally within my grasp. Or so I hoped.

"I can see your heart beat," I told him, and I found, to my amazement, that it was sort of true. The glow I could practically touch around him pulsated like the beating of a heart.

"I'm not done here yet, Sport," the girl said, anger lacing her words. She tugged me backwards and I nearly tripped. "Was this the accident? You….seducing my boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?" the black boy asked in dazed confusion.

"Yea…," the girl said almost sarcastically.

"Yes," Timothy answered, pushing futilely at his friend, who seemed to want to attach himself to Timothy physically and kept trying to kiss him. I went around his two friends and held onto his bike handles instead, ready to keep him there with me until we had had a chance to talk, at least. "Max was the accident. But I'll fix it. I promise." He turned to me and said, "Let's walk."

It was ironic, because I'd said the same thing to him the other day for this same reason….almost. In any case, I wasn't about to tell him 'no,' so I gave him a brilliant smile to show him how happy this made me and we began to walk. It was suddenly so easy to show my emotions and I never wanted it to stop. I never wanted to be afraid to let people know I loved Timothy ever again.

"Where to?" I asked, putting my hand on the small of his back and loving the feel of the muscles there. If I could just hold him forever, I'd be happy.

Some small part of my brain said there was something fundamentally wrong about that thought, but I didn't care to decipher it.

"Wherever, I really don't care. I just wanna walk," Timothy said.

I thought for a few moments and then it hit me. The festival was tonight. "Wanna go to the Spring Festival tonight?"

He gave a little smile, quirking the edges of his mouth. "Sure."

A few minutes later I took a step ahead of the bike and smiled a bit nervously at him. "So…I like you and…and you like me, right?"

He let out the same laugh he had when I first tried to kiss him. "Yea," he admitted, glancing down at the ground and then back up at me with the same smile on his face. "Yea, I lot."

My smile became a beacon. "So…that makes us boyfriends?"

Timothy paused for a moment and I stopped too, then he smiled and nodded. "Yea. I guess it does. I mean, if you want to be." He shrugged, looking a bit sheepish.

He was so cute.

"Yes," I said determinedly, grabbing a hold of the handle bars and leaning in close. "Yes, I want to be. More than anything."

He beamed back at me and took my hand as we continued to walk away from the school. I led him through town and helped him with his bike when it got stuck somewhere or had to be lifted or lowered. It was probably unnecessary, he _did_ ride it to and from school every day after all, but I couldn't help it. At one point he bumped the nose of a car while dismounting a sidewalk.

"Oops," he laughed.

"Here," I offered, grabbing the end of his bike and turning it with him so it could maneuver between the cars.

Then we were crossing the street. About the time we hit the other side walk I became aware of a woman's voice calling Timothy's name. Turning around I saw a woman in black with her hair done up and nice make up on. She was pretty.

"Hey, do you know her?" I asked. I mean really, if this was someone else trying to make him love them, I don't know what I'd do.

"Yea," he revealed begrudgingly. "My mom."

His mom? Perfect timing! Now I could introduce myself and make a great first impression. I felt amazing, so I had no doubt I'd make a great impression. Just as she caught up to us I took her hand.

"Hi, I'm Jonathon. You have a _brilliant_ son," I told her happily. She smiled at me, and then frowned.

"Oh shit." I frowned too. What'd I do? She looked down at her hands and pulled them both up to show me. "Sorry. We just got our nails done." She turned around and waved to someone. "Nora Fay!"

I could practically _feel_ Timothy panic. "No no, Mom!" I looked at him, ready to help him in any way I could, and he put his hand on my shoulder and guided me in front of him, away from his mom. "We've gotta go. We got a lot of…practicing to do," he lied, not meeting his mother's eyes.

Why lie? Was he ashamed of being gay? But he was so open about it that everyone who met him knew! Was he….ashamed of me?

"Wait…," his mother said quietly, seeming meeker than a moment ago.

"Oh, Timothy!" Nora Bellinger greeted grandly, grabbing his hand and shaking it with both of hers. "A pleasure to finally meet you. And-," she gasped, removing her sunglasses, "Jonathon Cordon! Well, you _look….quite…luminous,"_ she complimented me.

Without pausing for an instant to wonder about what she might think, like I usually would, I went along with my earlier plan and told her exactly how I felt. "I'm in love," I told her.

She smiled and so did I, looking at Timothy for a moment before looking back at Nora Bellinger. "Yes…! This is exactly what I meant by rising above, Donna," she said to Timothy's mom. "Your son, _compatriots_ with Morgan Hill's star rugby player!"

I felt a bit of aggravation rise up in me. I just outright told her I was in love and looked at Timothy, couldn't she tell we were together? "We're not compatriots," I started. "We're _boyfriends."_ There. Deny it now, Nora Fay.

Donna and Nora's faces fell from laughter into confused frowns almost instantly. "I…I'm sorry?" Nora managed, looking at Timothy in an odd way that made me nervous for him.

Timothy seemed to notice too, because he got suddenly nervous as well and gave a false smile as he said, "We have _got_ to go," and led me around the corner. I let him simply because I didn't want him to feel so anxious, and Nora Fay and his mother obviously made him anxious.

"Jonny!"

Oh my god! I couldn't _wait_ to get away! There were too many distractions here in town! I tried to ignore her, but Becky ran up and grabbed a hold of my arm as we walked.

"Has your coach lost his mind?" she asked almost teasingly, a smile on her face.

I frowned pointedly at her. "I've outgrown you." I grabbed Timothy's arm to support him when the almost palpable pulse of the glow around him beat faster.

"Ah-eh….I…Is this a joke?" she asked incredulously. Why could no one see how much I loved Timothy?

"Don't mock my love," I demanded hotly but quietly. Glancing at Timothy then back at Becky I said, "Who would not change a _raven,"_ I looked her up and down, "for a dove," and I smiled up at Timothy.

"What?"

I felt absolutely no pain or guilt in dumping her. I'd never really liked her to begin with. "Fly away," I told her bluntly. She couldn't possibly not understand that. I didn't want her now that I had Timothy.

As she left, I turned all my attention on Timothy. I tried to ask with my eyes if he was alright. Could he feel my emotions as well as I could his? His were so tumultuous right now and I had no idea how to help him. That hurt me deeply. He half-sighed and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Wait here."

He walked away, and after only a moment my heart was aching. I wanted to be near him always. Somewhere in my mind I knew that I had always wanted that, but it had never been a physical _need,_ like now. I also knew that it shouldn't be possible for me to see his heartbeat in a glow, or the glow at all, but I did. It was magic that gave me this courage to tell everyone about my love for Timothy and to understand him so intimately, and I didn't care. I didn't care how it happened or why, I was just so happy and I felt so free because I wasn't hiding anymore. I could be me and as long as Timothy accepted me, no one else mattered.

Then Timothy was back and all my ills vanished like wisps of cloud in a sunny sky. "So, where are we going?" he asked conversationally, probably to get his mind off of Nora and Becky's negative reactions.

I leaned in close to his ear and smiled as I whispered, "How about your place?" He gave a little smile at my suggestion and I considered a battle won.

 

…

…

Timothy's house was….surprisingly small. The front door entered into a small kitchen, then into a living room, and a small hallway with a bathroom and two bedrooms. We went straight into his room after he told me which door was the bathroom and when he flipped on the lights I couldn't help but stare.

Christmas lights.

Well, not really. They were ball lights, but some of them looked like Christmas lights. White lights around his bed, colored crawling up the walls near his closet, and lamps scattered all around the room. I made my way over to the bed and inspected the headboard and the pictures there. They were of Max and the girl (Frankie, a picture was captioned) in random odd outfits and doing funny things.

"Why don't you go to school with your friends?" I asked.

I heard Timothy sigh and glanced over to where he was heading into his closet. From this angle, I could see the desk in the closet and the script book laying on it. There were also a few stuffed animals, but I let it pass.

"What?" I asked in concern, moving to stand in the doorway as he riffled through his clothes.

"It's…I used to live by Frankie and Max, but then we moved over here and Morgan Hill is this really prestigious school. Mom had been planning on sending me there anyway at some point, so she saved up the money after the move and here I am. I suppose I could still go to my old school, since we didn't move all that far, but I think it'd be a bit unfair to waste all my mom's hard work getting me into Morgan Hill." He pulled out a black jacket and slid off his white shirt, revealing his arms to me. He had muscle there, toned if not overly strong. I almost reached out to touch them.

"Oh, I get it," I told him. Morgan Hill was pretty expensive, and if his parents spent a lot of money to get him in there, they probably wanted him to stay. After all, it really didn't look like they had much at all….I felt _really_ rich all of a sudden.

Timothy shook his head. "Look, don't worry about it. I still hang out with them, so it's not that bad."

I took a step into the closet and placed my hands gently on his biceps and whispered, "But you're miserable here. I see it every day."

A tiny smile fought to gain presence on his face, but it vanished too quickly to matter. His muscles tensed a bit as he gripped the jacket in his hands and then he gave an easy going smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Come on. Let's go," he insisted with a nod toward the door. He waited only long enough to pull on the black jacket and then we were back outside and heading towards the school grounds.

 

…

…

I could tell Timothy was a bit nervous, his heart was beating a tad faster than usual, but I would be with him to make sure nothing bad happened. I swore I'd make sure tonight was special for him. We were going to have a great time.

All of a sudden, just outside the festival, Timothy stopped and my hand was pulled out of his. I looked back at him quizzically.

"Let's not go," he said quietly, reserved.

"Why?" It would be fun. There were all these different booths I'd seen being prepared that looked really interesting. A kissing booth, tai food, sand art, cotton candy mountain, flower arrangement, hot dogs and hamburgers, and all the junk food you could eat. I fiddled with the end of my sleeve nervously and glanced at the festival grounds. Did he not want to be seen with me?

"You're different now," he said by way of explanation. What did that mean? I was ready to be open about my feelings and that made me different? Was that bad?

"Come on. What about cotton candy mountain?" I coaxed, pulling lightly on the zipper of his jacket and skimming my fingers over his chest through the black shirt. All I wanted right now was to make him happy. He needed to have some fun.

"I don't think you're ready for this."

Oh. He was concerned for me. Warmth crawled from the area of my heart to fill my whole being. I think I loved him more than ever in that moment, and I was sure to love him more and more as time went on.

"I cross my heart," I assured him, even physically making a cross over my heart and giving him a smile. I could do this.

He stared at me for a moment and I held up my hand in promise. With a shake of his head he disagreed, "Seriously, I was _beat up_ for being queer before I even knew what that was," and he turned his head towards the ground again.

And I would beat the living crap out of anyone who touched him. "Well don't worry, I'll protect you," I promised him quietly.

Well **_that_** was the wrong thing to say.

" _I don't need someone to protect me!_ " he said loudly. "You didn't even like me yesterday, remember?" he told me almost sadly, staring me in the eye.

"Well, sure I did," I assured him. I was causing him pain because I was too cowardly to tell him of my feelings before today? Well today- "But I fell in love with you, today." He still looked sad and I felt a desperate need to fix that because it was so _wrong._ "Come on," I insisted, tugging on his jacket. "Come on, come on."

"Stop," he told me. "Stop."

What could I do to make him see that I was ready to show myself to the world for who I really was? What could I do to prove my love for him was true? I let out a breath and leaned in close to him. "You're perfection," I breathed.

He let out a breathy, somewhat bitter, laugh. "That's the pansy talking."

The what? Pansy? Oh, that flower he had on stage during practice? Suddenly all the pieces fell into place. Timothy had used that flower, somehow, to take away my insecurities. Maybe it was meant to make me love him, since all the other guys in our class were suddenly fawning all over each other and making out, but I was already in love with Timothy. Maybe that was why I suddenly felt so ready to be myself. I was glad for it.

I laughed under my breath. "Come on, it'll be fun," I promised lightly, suddenly happier than I'd been a few moments ago. This time, he let me pull him along towards the festivities and I smiled. "There's a kissing booth," I mentioned suggestively.

He laughed quietly. "I think we can kiss without it."

Could we? Really? We hadn't kissed _once_ and I was dying for it! "Really?"

He smiled at my innocent, sincere joy and squeezed my hand. "Come on, let's just sit and talk for a bit."

There was a tree with a simple rounded spiral trunk that would give us the perfect path up to a thick branch that made the perfect bench. I pulled him over to it, ready to hear everything he had to say. I wanted to know everything about him. Once seated, we just stared at each other for a minute.

"Ok," he said at length. "How about…I tell you something about me, and then you tell me something about you?"

"Sure." He wanted to know more about me too and that made me happier than I thought it would. We'd never kissed, but I was sure he liked me like I liked him.

"Alright," he took a deep breath. "Um…I'm an only child."

Oh, I could've guessed that from seeing his house. I pouted for a moment but then grinned. "I have two younger sisters." Fair's fair.

He laughed lightly at my tone, then looked away from me and to the festival for a moment. When he looked back his face was serious and he seemed a bit nervous. "I hate this town," he admitted. "I can't wait to graduate and get the _hell_ out of this place forever."

It took all I could to smile at him through my disappointment. "It's…not that bad," I told him. If he didn't like this town, would he really leave after graduation? Was he going to leave me all alone again?

"Try looking at it through my eyes."

What could I use to convince him to stay? "What about your family?" I'd stay for my family.

He looked up and then back down at me. "You mean my mom?"

"Everyone."

He shook his head a bit. "It's just my mom….on a good day," he admitted.

Suddenly somber, I stared down at the tree branch. I wondered what had happened to his father. Had he died? Was he in jail? Did he simply abandon Timothy and his mom? And his mother…She'd looked so shocked to hear he had a boyfriend. Did she not approve of Timothy being gay? Was he really all alone in this fight? I glanced back up at him and his gaze turned sad before he looked off at the festival again.

Without waiting for me to tell him something about me, he continued. "I don't wanna go back." He sounded partially devastated.

"To what?" Were we still talking about his family? Was something wrong with his mother or father? Something horrible?

"To real life."

Ok, you lost me, love. "This _is_ real," I told him.

"Yea," he agreed, then glanced down at the tree. "But so… _so_ far from where I woke up this morning." He lifted his eyes to mine and I saw something desperate and sad in them that I wanted to make go away. But then he looked away again, as if to hide his eyes from me, and when he looked back he was changing the subject again. "People were staring at us," he joked nervously.

I almost rolled my eyes. "So stare back," I told him. Timothy should have hit himself with that pansy thing, so he could stop caring so much about what people thought. It was making him miserable! And if he was miserable, then I was too. And I wasn't as good at keeping emotions like that in as he was. "People are just jealous," I choked out, "because I'm with the best fellow in town."

He looked almost hopeful and I needed to prove to him I was telling the truth. Maybe all he needed was someone to tell him everything would be alright. Maybe then he wouldn't be so ashamed of who he was, because he was amazing and had no reason to be ashamed. None at all. So I leaned in to kiss him and he met me part way and put his hands on my face as we kissed for the first time. And the second time. And the third. I bumped his nose with mine barely as I pulled away and looked him in the eyes.

"People can change," I murmured. I had changed.

His eyes flicked from mine to the ground and he pulled away completely. For a minute I feared he'd changed his mind and he didn't really like me. Then a funny smile grew on his face as he breathed out and he said, "If they experienced _that,_ they might."

And that just made me want to kiss him until we were both blue in the face. But anything more intense than what we'd just done and we might fall off the branch, so I held myself back. He looked towards the festival and, this time, so did I.

"Look," I laughed. Cole and Cooper were making out at the kissing booth. They looked glued together.

"How many people are in this town?" Timothy asked randomly.

My head spun he changed topics so fast. "Ten thousand….maybe." Maybe not even that many.

He thought for a minute while I simply watched him and then he got a sly grin on his face and met my eyes. "Let's go."

"Why?" Now that we were here, I was perfectly content to just sit and talk for the rest of the night.

He smiled at me. "I've got people to change," he said cryptically as he slid off the branch to the trunk and made to walk away. I hurried to follow him.

"What's that mean?" I asked nervously. "Are you gonna go kiss other guys?"

He laughed once, freely, and stopped to wait for me to catch up. When I was by his side, he took my hand and stared down into my eyes. "No. I'd never dream of it."

I felt like such a school girl in love the way my heart burst and I felt like I could fly at that statement. Maybe I was the girl in this relationship. Without releasing my hand, Timothy led the way into the festival.

"We'd probably best avoid the kissing booth, though," I muttered to him and he snorted and nodded in agreement.

And then, as if fate was against me, Frankie walked up to us. "Game's over, Sport," she announced. Was she talking to me or Timothy?

"What?" Timothy asked in confusion just as Max ran up and grabbed him by the shirt.

"I missed you!" he gushed and it made me feel sick.

Frankie gave an aggravated sound and grabbed Max by the arm and yanked. "Get the _hell_ offa him!" she ordered, but Max just shook her off and ran back to _my_ boyfriend and pulled _me_ off as we were walking away.

"Leave him alone," Timothy ordered. If Max kept at it, I'd get really mad really fast.

"Listen, he's just messing with your head," Max told Timothy conspiratorially and pointed at me.

I wasn't messing with him! I loved him! "He's mine," I told him possessively.

"Stop teasing him and go back to your cheerleader!" he said like it was a curse and shoved me. I tried to get around him and to Timothy, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Any love I had for her is gone. I swear," I said almost desperately. _Please don't leave me_ , I begged silently.

"Look, Max, Max," Timothy began in a placating tone of voice, taking Max by the shoulders and staring at him pointedly. "You love Frankie. You know I know."

"Yes. Thank you," Frankie said tiredly and wrapped an arm around Max's shoulders and neck to drag him backwards. I made my way back to Timothy, who looked upset. But Max escaped Frankie and came back and stared intensely at Timothy as I tried to lead him away from the situation.

"I love you," he nearly breathed out. Timothy stopped and turned to stare in what seemed to be shock at Max. "With my vow, I weep. My tears do tell the truth."

He lifted his hands to brush Timothy's cheeks and I saw red. Luckily for him, Frankie grabbed a hold of him and nearly yelled, "Ok! I'm going insane, officially!" and tried walking away. Max wasn't cooperating though and they fell to the ground with a near simultaneous 'ah!'

I almost laughed but then I got shoved from behind. _Great,_ what _now_!?

"You…asshole!" Becky cursed at me. She kept hitting me and I glared at her.

"Stop it."

"Look just," she began in a breathy angry voice. "Just come here," she ordered and pulled me away.

Why was everyone trying to pull us apart? "He's mine!" I told her and ripped myself backwards and away from her.

Then Timothy was between us and had sprayed them with the flower the way he'd sprayed me. I grinned, wondering how it would affect them. Frankie stood up just then and I saw Timothy's heartbeat spasm.

"No no no, no!"

She looked up at him as he took a hold of her shoulders and watched Becky and….Becky's friend, warily. "Look, can you please let me in on this?" she asked wearily.

"Who is this goddess?" Becky asked airily.

"Nymph."

"Perfect."

"Divine."

Becky grabbed Frankie by the face and kissed her full on the mouth. Cool. Let Becky take a walk in my shoes for a bit. It was perfect. I was liking this flower thing more and more by the minute. Then Max just _had_ to ruin my moment, _again!_

"Timothy," he whispered, just loud enough that it caught my attention. He was _touching_ him again! "I love you."

"I love you more than he ever could," I swore, pushing Max off of him and pleading with Timothy to believe me.

Max shoved me harshly. "Prove it!"

I glared at him. "Wanna fight?" I asked hotly. This guy kept ruining my time with Timothy! He was always in the way!

I never knew I was so possessive. Must be a pansy thing.

"You're on, Jock boy," he accepted.

Frankie jumped on his back. "Max!"

I scoffed at him. "You comin'?"

He threw Frankie off. "Let loose!" He stared at her on the ground and said, "Be certain, I do not love you anymore," so coldly that I felt even more justified in kicking his ass. He was supposed to be her boyfriend, wasn't he?

"Follow if you dare," I said and walked away. The sooner I finished this fight, the sooner me and Timothy could get back to just having fun. If I lost, which I wouldn't, I might just die.


	3. Chapter 3

The fight wasn't long. Max may have been fighting for love, but he didn't know how to fight at all. I had every advantage and I used them. If beating Max would prove I loved Timothy more, then I'd do it. I stopped after the first bit of blood began to show, and told him the fight was mine.

Afterward, leaning on a tree and waiting for Timothy to find me, I faltered. What had I just done? I was acting foolishly. Fighting wouldn't prove who loved Timothy more! I worried what he'd think of me for hurting one of his friends. I had no idea what to expect because I'd ignored his heart ever since Max and Frankie showed up at the festival. How could I have been so stupid?

Just as I was beginning to really hate myself and the first rays of daylight were showing in the sky, Timothy walked into view with his bike beside him and his bag across his shoulders. He walked right up to me and gave me a kiss on the lips, and I thought that maybe he could tell how I was feeling after all.

"Come on," he whispered against my mouth. "Let's go."

Yes. I'd follow you anywhere. I swear.

…

…

There were two lakes in Kingston. One was in the park, and the other was on the outskirts of town where hardly anyone ever went, on the edge of a forest. It was there that Timothy and I spent our night, or…what was left of it. He kind of leaned on me as we watched the sunrise and the way the light played across the lake and we both dozed off for a few hours. When we woke up, the sun was high enough in the sky to shed a gentle morning light on everything around us. We ate a breakfast of two rolls Timothy said he'd taken from his house when he'd stopped there to get his stuff. It wasn't much, but I wasn't hungry anyway.

While we ate, I realized something about Timothy. The glow I'd been seeing all day yesterday had dimmed quite a bit. He looked a bit less ethereal now, but he was no less beautiful to me. In fact, I think I preferred him without it. I wondered if, sometime soon, I would fail to see the glow at all….

"Let's go swimming," I suggested randomly.

Timothy laughed deep in his throat. "We just ate."

"Oh, come on," I insisted. "It'll be fun." I kissed him on the nose and then shed my shirt and lept into the lake six feet away.

Turns out it was only deep enough at the edge to cover up to my knees. Timothy cracked up when I looked at him sheepishly. "Great swimming," he teased.

Oh sweet, laugh again. "I love your laugh," I admitted softly, a blush coming up to gently brush my cheeks. The glow thumped faster and he blushed too. "Truly."

He moved to sit on the edge of the grass by the lake and gave an embarrassed smile. "I'm pretty sure I love you," he whispered and my heart forgot to beat. "When…When I figured out I was attracted to guys….It was usually their bodies that captivated me, and just that. But…You're personality is great too."

' _Too._ ' Yea. That meant he thought I was hot. A goofy smile hit my face and I sat down in the water. "Well thanks. You're really kind as well." Without warning, I stood up and splashed water on him. He let out a surprised laugh and yelp and I sat down again, prepared to do it again and maybe get him in the water with me.

"I," he began, the smile slipping away and all of my plans ended abruptly. "I'm not kind…not really." He looked at the grass at his elbow. "I'm actually really selfish."

"How so?"

He tried to smile but failed and didn't look up at me. "I was really mad at everyone for treating me the way they did. Really mad. And after I got cast as a fairy in the play, it just got worse, even with my mom."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, trying to catch his eye. I hadn't realized that being Puck had caused him so many issues. If there was something I could do….

He looked at me then. "Don't be. You're the only good thing I've got at Morgan Hill. And besides, I changed all that." He looked away at something in the distance. "I changed everything to fit me."

"And that's what makes you selfish?" I asked, pulling myself out of the water and sitting next to him. He nodded and met my eyes. He was so close. "Know this….There is nothing you could do to make me hate you," I assured him and gave him a kiss.

When we parted he shook his head and smiled at me half-heartedly. "Let's talk about something else. Something about you."

And that's how we passed the afternoon. I told him about my father and mother and what they did for a living and my two sisters, why I played rugby and why I liked it, my favorite color – purple but I told everyone it was green, favorite books and movies, favorite foods – snow crab but my father and mother found it too messy and we rarely had it, and that I was completely and totally in love with him.

For some reason, he seemed bittersweetly happy about that last one.

He told me about his mom and her job hunting, the fight he'd had with his father when he'd come out about being gay, his favorite color – the green on his bedroom walls, his favorite books and movies, favorite food – macaroni and cheese, that he was shit at fighting, and that he loved me too – he'd whispered it beautifully in my ear.

By the end of it, we were leaning against a tree and it was mid afternoon. He was in my arms and I had never felt more at peace in the world. I ran my hand along his arm and back to his hand in slow movements, not caring if the world ended right then because I was so calm and happy.

He caught my hand. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, a smile in his voice, as he traced a little scar between my index finger and thumb.

"Oh," I laughed lightly. "I cut myself cooking."

"Cooking?" he asked incredulously and looked up at me above him with a laugh barely held behind his lips and a smile lighting his face. I tickled him and he jumped and laughed.

"Yea, cooking," I said. "Got a problem?"

"No, no!" he yelped, trying to pull away. I stopped tickling him as quickly as I'd begun and held him close to me. He sighed and wrapped his arms around my arms and relaxed against me again. "This is perfect," he breathed and rolled his head a bit on my stomach, making me giggle like a girl. "I never want it to end."

I held him tighter. "It doesn't have to end. We can stay together. Forever."

…

…

When I woke up, it was to Timothy's mother's voice. "Hi Sugar," she said quietly, but it still made me panic for a minute. "I gotta get you to the school."

Timothy looked at me as he got up and suddenly I remembered. The school play! I got up and followed as Timothy got into his mom's car. I held his hand in the back seat and he leaned on me like I was his rock in a swift river.

I'll admit. I was worried. What was wrong with him? There was no glow, not really. I had to really focus to see it and it was already dark outside, so it should've been easier to see. Now I even worried about that. When the glow disappeared for good, what would happen to Timothy and me? I didn't want to lose all the confidence I'd gained in myself, in my sexuality, in Timothy.

I kissed the top of his head and then lifted our joined hands to plant a kiss on his fingers. He gripped my hand a bit tighter and I stopped. What was wrong? Just as I opened my mouth to ask, the car stopped outside the school and Timothy led me by the hand out of the car.

There were a lot of people milling about outside, waiting for curtain time. I thought I saw my sister Hayley, but it was so quick that it could've been anyone. Did that mean my parents were here too? Dad had been so against the play…

Then I was in make-up and costuming, and then the play had started, and I never got the chance to ask Timothy what was bothering him. He acted fine during the play, but then again, he _was_ acting. Just before the one of the last scenes, I noticed he looked nervous and gave him a peck on the lips and smiled to give him a bit of my confidence. He gave a tiny, shaky smile in return and then hurried around and onto the stage to call the lovers back and reverse the spell.

"Follow my voice. We'll try no manhood here," he said loudly. I stepped out onto the stage with him.

"The villain is much lighter heeled than I: I followed fast, but faster he did fly," I recited, adding a bit of breathlessness to it to make it seem I'd been running a lot. Even as I acted and did the silly poses of Shakespeare, all I could really think about was Timothy right next to me as Puck.

He looked fantastic as a fairy. I wasn't there when they did that to his hair, but it was amazing. Then again, he looked amazing all the time.

"Come, thou gentle day!" I said, setting myself down on the ground by the tree as I had for the scene where I had the spell put on me. "For if but once thou show me thy grey light, I'll find Demetrius and revenge this spite."

"Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not?" Timothy called gently yet mockingly and I fought not to smile. I was supposed to be asleep. A goofy smile would give me away.

"Where art thou now?" Taylor called, louder than I had.

"Come hither: I am here," Timothy beckoned almost gently.

"Nay, then, thou mock'st me." Taylor ran around the stage and onto the platform as Timothy landed right by my side near the tree. "Thou shalt buy this dear, if ever I thy face by daylight see: Now, go thy way." As Taylor jumped down from the platform, Timothy ran away and I missed his closeness physically. It was a real fight to stay still and not chase after him. "Faintness constraineth me to measure out my length on this cold bed. By day's approach look to be visited." With that, Taylor laid back against the stage wall. I know because I kept opening my eyes during practice to watch Timothy move.

"O weary night, O long and tedious night," Bradley began and I heard the soft steps of Timothy as he exited the stage. Behind Bradley's short monologue I heard Ms. Tebbit speaking, but I couldn't hear what she said. "Abate thy hour! And sleep, that sometimes shuts up sorrow's eye, steal me awhile from mine own company." Bradley lay down with his flowers in sleep.

Timothy came back on stage then and a bit of the tension in me left. "Yet but three? Come one more; two of both kinds make up four. Ah, here she comes, curst and sad: Cupid is a knavish lad, Thus to make poor females mad." And he was _right next to me_. I could practically hear him breathing, or his heart beat. I tilted my head ever so slightly towards him, trying to be closer without giving up the act of sleep.

Cole spoke his lines near perfectly and it made me wonder if maybe him being with Cooper had been good for his personality. "Never so weary, never so in woe, bedabbled with the dew and torn with the briers, I can no further crawl, can no further go; my legs can keep no pace with my desires." And he lay down and pretended to sleep.

Timothy knelt next to me silently. I only realized he'd moved when I heard him let out an audible breath. I held my own.

"On the ground, sleep sound…," he sang, and it was so beautiful. I began to breathe again. I wanted to watch him as he sang, close up this time. I felt his fingers as they gently toyed with my hair for a moment. The music played again and he let his hand drop back to the platform. "I'll apply…to your eye…gentle lover, remedy…"

He stood back and, as the music began to pick up, I heard thunder roll outside. It added the perfect drama to the song and made Timothy seem just that much more perfect when he started singing again.

"When thou wakest, thou takest true delight, in the sight of thy former lady's eye…Jack shall have Jill." I felt something wet hit my eyes and clothes and gasped. It felt like something was being pulled from my very being: not painful, but uncomfortable. "Nought shall go ill…The man shall have his mare again…" I opened my eyes then and saw Timothy standing there, imagination in its finest moment, finishing the song. But he looked different…No…he looked the way I've seen him for weeks now, but different from how I'd seen him in the past twenty-four hours. "…and all shall be well." He sounded upset…

That was it! The glow was gone! And….and I didn't feel the frantic need to comfort him. Sure, I wanted to comfort him, but I wasn't desperate to do so anymore. I was suddenly aware of everyone else on the stage and the people in the audience….all staring at us on stage. There were so many people here, and I could hear them all muttering to each other.

Timothy knelt by me again and looked me right in the eyes. He looked like he was about to cry…

"Goodbye," he murmured sadly.

What?

I opened my mouth to ask why?, where are you going?, you're coming back right?, but he was already leaving and I couldn't just call out to him on stage. People would stare!

Wait.

I looked down at the stage and realized that, somehow, the magic was gone. I was a coward again. It was just then I realized I was getting wet and looked up into the strange rain falling on everyone. "Is this part of the show?" I asked aloud.

"Damn, this is cool," Taylor laughed quietly from the sidelines.

Then Ms. Tebbit called us off stage so the finale could begin. Timothy went to stand by Ms. Tebbit while the rest of us headed back stage to wait for curtain call. If Ms. Tebbit wasn't standing there, I'd be next to him in a heartbeat. I had so much to ask him.

Why did he remove the magic? Did he still want to be with me? Why did he say good-bye? I didn't understand. I'd thought he wanted to be my boyfriend all along. I mean, he was the one who started this whole thing, right? But now…

I heard him beginning to speak on the stage and sighed.

But now he'd ended it. That was it, wasn't it? He'd had enough, or changed his mind, or found that he didn't love me after all. I could always claim that the magic made me do it, but I didn't want to! I wanted Timothy back! But….if he had decided to end it….then I guess, if I love him, I should respect his decision. It'll kill me inside, but I'll do it. If that's what Timothy wants…

Taylor tapped my shoulder and I stepped in line for the curtain call. I walked right past Timothy and refused to look at him. If I did, I might break down, and how unmanly and out of character would that be?

We all bowed on stage, and then Cole held out a hand to me. We clapped hands, like real men do, and then walked to the side of the stage. As practiced, everyone lifted their hands to welcome Puck out onto the stage and he came, smiled at the audience, and bowed. We all clapped along with the audience, but I wasn't really feeling up to it anymore. I kinda just wanted to go home and die.

Not literally. I wasn't _that_ depressed yet. But I wanted to lay in bed and never get up again.

I'm such a girl.

We all left the stage and I went in back to change out of my costume and wipe my make-up off. I kept my eyes on the floor except when other cast and crew members came up to congratulate me on a job well done or talk about the show. Then I acted like my normal self. I didn't even pull my normal clothes on, just took my costume off. I just wanted to be out of there.

Everyone was still changing when I made to leave. Just as I reached the door to the outside, Hayley burst through and threw her arms around me. "Whoa! Hey Hayley, what's the rush?" I asked, trying to seem normal.

She giggled happily in my ear. "It's Puck, isn't it? Am I right?" she gushed, pulling me around in a circle. "I _am_ right, I know it. I saw you two walk in together, hands clasped and everything. _Jon,_ I'm _so_ happy for you!"

I was so glad no one was around to hear this.

"Hayley," I sighed, putting a stop to her jovial spinning and cheering. "It's not…we're not together anymore." I couldn't look her in the eyes, so I stared at her shoulder. "I'm not sure we ever were, really."

"What? But, Jon, I saw you," she insisted.

I shook my head. "Hayley, I'm gonna tell you something, and it'll probably sound crazy, but you've got to believe me." She nodded insistently and I took a deep breath before meeting her eyes. "Somehow….Timothy did something like magic and made everyone fall in love with everyone else….like in the play. The first thing they saw, they went for it….Well, I saw him first and I realized you were right. I'd always loved him."

She opened her mouth with a smile as if to say 'I told you so,' but I put a finger on her lips to stop it and she stared at me seriously again.

"For awhile, everything was great. He even said we were boyfriends. But tonight he changed everything back to the way it was. No one is in love with anyone anymore," I told her, trying not to sound too sad.

"Sooo….," she tried, and I could see her mind working, "…what's the issue?"

I sighed something between depression and exasperation. "The issue is that, why would Timothy change everything back and take the spell off me if he still wanted to be with me?" I explained as calmly as I could.

Hayley stared at me for a minute and then gave an over exaggerated sigh herself. "Jon, where have you been? The entire town's been going crazy today!"

"Crazy?"

"Yea!" She waved her arms around frantically. "Everyone was suddenly gay and people were randomly marrying their neighbors and people who'd never been attracted to one another suddenly fell head over heels in love."

"They…they what?" The whole town?

"Yea!" she exclaimed and her eyes bugged out. "The few people that weren't suddenly in love got real mad cause their kids and family were gay now and the play almost got shut down! I know, I snuck into the meeting. Ms. Tebbit got everyone calmed down somehow, I still don't understand it. She just held her hands up and told everyone to calm down and come see the show and everything would be alright, and they did." Hayley shrugged. "Maybe she's a bit magic too."

I shook my head. "That's all good and well, Hay, but what's it got to do with Timothy and me?"

She rolled her eyes at me and shook me by the shoulders. "Fool! The town was coming apart at the seams! He probably had to reverse it!"

"Had to….," I trailed off.

I suddenly heard, in clear detail, the sad way he'd said goodbye on stage after his song. So….did Timothy think I wouldn't want him once the spell ended? Maybe…I looked to the side.

Hope sprung up in my chest and I grinned. Then I frowned and stared at Hayley again. "Hay, I'm in trouble."

"Why?" she asked, a smile on her face and in her voice. "You love each other, right?"

I shook my head. "Yes…probably…but that's not the point. Hayley…the only reason I had enough courage to confess the first time was because I wasn't in my right mind. How am I supposed to manage it without the extra confidence?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Jon….People have been confessing their love to other people for centuries." She pat me on the shoulder and whispered, " _I think you can handle it_ ," before suddenly leaving me and putting her hands on the door handle. "I'll take care of mom and dad and Hannah. Take your time!" she said happily, as if I wasn't freaking out on the inside, and then left.

"Great," I breathed out into the still air. "No pressure." I took a deep breath and headed back towards the dressing rooms. Timothy was probably still in there wiping all his makeup off.

Ms. Tebbit told me Timothy was in the dressing room up the stairs and I hurried up them. He was sitting in front of a mirror with his back to me, wiping the last of his makeup off and taking his sweet time doing it. I was standing just a tad too far to his right to be in the mirror. Perfect.

Perfect.

Now how could I confess to him quickly so I wouldn't chicken out part way through and in a way that he'll believe me? Let's face it, anything I start to say will change part way through cause I'm a retard with no backbone. So it was left to actions. Actions. Well, the best action to do with someone you love, something I'd loved doing this past day and I'd dreamt about for weeks was….

Before I could rethink my plan, I jumped forward, flipped his chair around, and kissed him straight on the lips. He pushed me away and I almost ran until I saw how confused he looked. Ok….words….words…

"You were unbelievable tonight," I complimented. Nice words.

A strange stutter came out of his mouth. "D-don't you f…feel…"

"I feel like myself," I assured him, and myself as well. Now that it was over, I couldn't believe how public I'd been about my affections. I could've ruined our lives, or gotten one of us really hurt. Thinking about it made me feel all out of sorts with myself. But now I was back to normal, ready to start a relationship with Timothy the way I wanted to.

"It is not enough to speak, but to speak true," Ms. Tibbet said from behind us and we both turned to see her just in time for Cooper, Max, and Frankie to hurry up the stairs.

"Dude! Awesome job!" Cooper shouted.

Max and Frankie looked happy, so I figured Max wasn't about to throw himself all over Timothy again…..You know, I should probably ask him why Max was in love with him in the first place.

Cooper looked between Timothy and me and laughed open mouthed as he continued to look back and forth. When he'd managed to calm it down to a simple smile, he told us what he wanted to say. "Dude, you two love birds better be at my party tonight, cause it's gonna be _beyond,_ alright?" he said, sounding….actually, truly gay. He wasn't picking on Timothy, he was just talking…and he was still wearing his eye makeup…Whoa.

Cooper got up and left and I don't know where Max and Frankie went, but Timothy was looking at me with something akin to amazement, so I didn't really care either. He got this funny little smile on his face and it was contagious. He hadn't told me to leave yet, so he liked me, right? As if to prove it to me, Timothy suddenly leaned down, put his hand on my left cheek, and kissed me right on the mouth.

When he pulled back I gave a little smile and blushed, I could feel it. Timothy let out an airy laugh. He was still amazed? I leaned my head up a little bit closer to him and my smile widened as I whispered, "I think I love you, for real."

Timothy's eyes widened and then his eyebrows came together and his eyes narrowed. At first I thought I'd done something wrong, but then he wiped his hand across his face, sniffled, and kissed me again.

"Should I be worried?" came an amused voice and I turned around where I knelt to see Timothy's mom grinning at us.

How long had she been there?

Timothy let out another breathy, amazed laugh and found my left hand with his right, then smiled at her then back at me.

…

…

_Riiiing…..Riiiing…._

"I'll get it," my mother called throughout the house.

I was sitting in my room again, probably twice as big as Timothy's and I still felt a bit self-conscious about that. On my desk, in the corner, was the script book from A Midsummer Night's Dream. Inside the front cover was a picture of the whole cast from our final bow. I was fiddling with the remote to my dvd player and staring at the tv across the room. On it was the dvd of our play. Ms. Tebbit had dropped it off this morning at my house, and now it was paused on the moment when Timothy was sitting next to me, right after he'd said 'Gentle lover…Remedy…' At that moment, because he was the focal in the scene, the camera had zoomed in on us.

I fiddled with the remote and stuck it under my chin as I studied the image on the screen. If I hadn't figured out that he still wanted me yet, I would've realized it after watching the video. He looked tortured. No one else would notice, because no one else was watching him so closely, but I did. I'd watched this scene six times now already. He kept delaying; looking around and simply sitting. He didn't want it to end.

My heart ached at this moment in the play and the only thing that comforted me was that we were together now. It'd only been a few hours since the play, just one night, but I felt light as a feather knowing I had all the time in the world with Timothy.

"Honey." I hit stop on the dvd player and flipped around casually just as my mother walked in my room. "A friend of yours is here….From the play?" I brought my eyebrows together and got up to follow her downstairs. "They called a few minutes ago, but I forgot to tell you they were on their way."

"Who is it?" I asked.

She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know his name, but he's cute."

I rolled my eyes as she opened the front door and then stopped. Timothy was sitting on his bike, one leg holding him and the bike up, the other on the pedal farthest from me. He had on a white shirt and a black jacket with white accents and dark grey tight jeans with square black and white sunglasses.

Is it strange that I found that _really_ hot?

"Um…thanks, mom." I nearly stuttered. "I'll take it from here."

"Alright then," she acquiesced and went back inside.

I stepped off the front porch and held my hands out to my sides a bit. "What?" was all I could manage.

When I was only a step away he pulled off the sunglasses in one fluid motion and pulled me in for a kiss. I didn't protest and after only half a second I kissed him back, one hand suddenly wrapped up in his t-shirt. It felt like a century passed, but probably only four seconds, when we pulled apart.

"What was that for?" I asked in a daze. That had been the most passionate kiss we shared yet.

He smiled apologetically. "Sorry….I just had to see if it was real, what happened yesterday I mean."

I nodded. "I get it." I took a hold of the handle bars on his bike and grinned at him. "You wanna do something today?"

He beamed and opened his mouth to answer when all of a sudden, "Yes!" I rolled my eyes and let my head drop onto the handle bars between my hands. "Oh I knew it!"

"Wh-"

"Hi, Hayley," I greeted without lifting my head, then stood up straight and used my hand to motion to her. "Timothy, my sister Hayley. Hayley, my boyfriend Timothy."

If I'd been looking, I'm sure I would've seen Timothy's shocked face that I'd introduced him to family that way, but I think Hayley shocked him more. She got right up in his face with the biggest smile on her face, teeth and all showing, and grabbed him by the face.

"Wow. You're cuter up close." She giggled lightly to herself about something or other.

"Thanks?" he said through his squished cheeks. I cleared my throat and she jumped back from him.

"Oh. Did I interrupt something?" she asked humbly.

"Just a little," I said.

She put a hand to her mouth and then bowed to us a tiny bit. "I'm sorry. Where are my manners. I'll just…leave now…Bye." She ran back into the house, and I sighed and turned back to Timothy, who was looking at me with a severely questioning look on his face.

"My sister, drama extraordinaire of our family." I smiled and pressed my nose to his for a brief moment. "She's been bugging me about you since you fought Cole during rugby practice."

"Rugby-," Timothy cut himself off and let out a breath. "How long have you liked me?"

I shrugged. "I don't know." I leaned heavily on the handle bars. "The first day in the locker room? But then I just thought you were good looking. So….I don't know. It was progressive." I grinned.

He laughed that same breathy laugh he always did when he was shocked. "Really? The whole time?" I shrugged and smiled but said nothing. "Man…I must've been more oblivious than I thought," he joked.

I stared into his eyes, beautiful eyes, until he blushed. "So, what were you saying before Hayley interrupted?"

"Oh," he glanced down and then back up at me. "Yea. I wanna do something today."

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "Whatever." His smile still made my heart melt and I smiled too.

"Let's play a game." He tilted his head down a bit but never broke eye contact so I kept going. "I'll tell you something about me, and then you'll tell me something about you."

He laughed once, softly, and nodded. "Sure. The lake?"

I nodded and we started to walk away, my hand on his bike's right handle bar and his on its left handle bar as we went. A few feet down the road I glanced at him again. "You look good today."

"Really?" he asked with a little smile. "You too."

_Fin_


End file.
